Tonight at 9:30pm, Hawaii Bar, be there or be elsewhere logically (though you'll have more fun if you're there - click on the pic for the facebook event link)
OKAY, so if you’re a shorter chick, you’re probably smaller in the crotchal region.
Being of this stature has come with its own litany of issues (i.e. pants too long, can’t ride on certain amusement park rides, dicks don’t fit, etc…) but an issue that girls probably don’t talk too much about with each other is that women’s pads are pretty much like wearing a boat in your undies.
More recently, I’ve found something that actually fits. U by Kotex fits perfectly – though unfortunately its marketed towards tweens.
Like the assholes who are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez fans. FUCK.
Each pack comes with a really excited instructional brochure about how you’re a woman now and that periods are awesome.
As an almost 30 year old woman reading the brochure, trust me, I don’t need to be reminded that periods are part of being a woman. If anything, every time I’m reading one of these I’m more inclined to think “jeez, I guess I’m just one more period closer to having a flippered kid”. (I don’t know why my inner monologue is so un-PC, it’s kind of a jerk).
As you can see from the lovely picture posted somewhat above, the box is COVERED in glitter.
But that’s not the worst of it. The pads themselves are covered in stars and hearts (and clovers and horseshoes and blue moons). I understand that you’re trying to normalize our monthlies for tweens and I understand why this is important, but are you trying to make them exciting? (‘Cuz you know, bleeding from your nethers isn’t exciting enough.)
But seriously, hearts and stars?
It’s a period, not the motherfucking Pride parade.
Toronto-Based. Carbon-Based. Derp.